Humanity Lost
by vintageredhead
Summary: A young woman who was turned back in 1999 reflects on her first 10 years as a vampire. This isn't a character from the books or show, only a nameless young woman made vampire in the True Blood universe.


Humanity Lost

It's a chilly, October night. I can smell that very faint aroma of autumn in the city; fireplace smoke, decaying fall leaves, and the combined scents of all the resturaunts cooking their various delicious dishes of hamburgers, chicken strips, pasta, and other assorted goodness. Not that I won't be tasting any of that anytime soon. For you see, one decade ago, I was made Vampire.

Although I am technically 30 years old, I don't look a day over 20, and I never will. For eternity. I am immortal and I will live centuries, even millenia, but at what price did I pay for the eternal 'gift'?

It was a night pretty much like this. I had just finished my shift at Mervyn's at the mall where I worked part time to put myself thru college. I was on my way to meet some friends at the local Applebee's for a late night dinner and drinks. Since it was a busy Saturday afternoon when I arrived to work, I was forced to park my car at the far end of the lot. I assured Ms. Smith, the store manager that I would be alright, that I would make it to my car and that I would see her the next day. This would be the night I was 'kidnapped'.

Ever wonder why there are so many missing persons cases that have yet to be solved? And you wonder what on earth is going on when a body fails to turn up after years, decades? Well, I am 'living' proof of the great mystery. Once I was turned, I was forbidden to ever return home, to see my family, friends, co-workers, or anyone I cared about. My mortal life ended that night back at the turn of the century.

I haven't seen the sunshine in over a decade. I look over at the McDonald's across the way and remember in my mind how I used to love their chicken McNuggets and can faintly remember what they used to taste like. My mom always bought me and my brother Happy Meals every Friday after school when we were growing up. I haven't seen them since I left for work that Saturday afternoon. My brother would be a grown man now, and my parents would be well into their fifties by now. One time I worked up the courage to drive by my childhood home late one night. I parked my car across the street and probably sat there for 7 hours. I could remember the happy moments of my human life, the playing outside all hours of the day, cook-outs, ballgames, watching all my favorite TV shows after school, simple human pleasures that ceased to be once I was turned. Scarlet tears stained my clothes. I had to get away and swore I would never go back.

After the Great Revelation, Vampires became public. While there is nothing stopping me from revealing myself to my family, after all this time it would not be right. They all grew older, and yet I am the same. My maker warned me never to return, and I must obey his orders. It's for every vampire's own well being I would find out.

I was part of the very last generation of vampires that learned the brutal basics, the hunting, survival, hiding from the law and humankind. I was made into a monster, killing innocent people so I could simply eat. Even though I am still very, very young and can still walk the fine line between vampire and human, I will never be able to control the natural vampire impulses. My fangs will pop out when I am provoked, or aroused, or frightened. I have done things in my vampire life that I never would have even dreamed of while I was human. My maker told me I would lose my conscience eventually and that it would get easier, but am I any happier?

I will always be 20, young, thin, and beautiful, just as I was when I was made. I will be for eternity. It's so funny how humans are obsessed with the idea of being eternally young and beautiful, but those that are made that way would trade everything just to gain back what we have lost. I miss my family terribly. I miss fast food and sushi. I miss being outside in the sun and going to picnics and all the run of the mill suburban fare. Most vampires were thrilled to be turned, but I wasn't. I was happy when I was a human. I had everything and would have had even more but it was all stolen. My humanity lost forever. Forever.

The End.


End file.
